Author: Craig Seymour
Beyoncé’s How To Make Lemonade: My Top 20 Photos
As most people know, Bey just dropped her epic photo book chronicling the Lemonade era. The unboxing alone…
On first flip, these are my Top 20 faves (in no particular order):
Craig in XY Magazine
Elegy of Clubland by Craig Seymour
Once Upon A Time. It’s a phrase we’re all used to from children’s stories. Words meant to conjure a past so distant that it’s imbued with mystery, myth, and magic. It’s a phrase that I never thought would apply to my own work. But as I sit looking at old photos, remember the young, shining faces coming alive in long-gone, twilight-lit spaces, I can’t help repeating that phrase in my mind: One Upon A Time.
The feelings I experience while looking at these pictures are wildly mixed. There is joy from the memory of all the wild, ecstatic fun. But there’s also melancholy from the realization that what once was will never be again.
See, I started seriously taking pictures in nightclubs around 2006. But my relationship with nightclubs, particularly strip clubs, goes back much farther. The first gay club that I ever went to was a strip club, La Cage Aux Follies, in my hometown of Washington, D.C. As soon as I stepped in the door and entered the dark club where godly hunks danced under warm, red lights, I experienced a feeling of safety that came over me like a wave. It was the first time in my life that I felt fully secure in publically exhibiting my desire for other men without fear of reprisal, whether verbal or violent.
Throughout the ‘90s, I worked in many of the D.C. clubs as a stripper in order to help pay my way through grad school. This gave me another perspective on the strip club experience. I learned through my friendships with other strippers that behind every gyrating, g-stringed body was a unique story, a journeyman’s tale about what led them to the club and a hopeful vision about where life might one day take them.
By the time I started taking pictures, my relationship to the strip clubs had changed once again. This change reflected a phenomenon once described by author Andrew Holleran: “And the only way you know you’re growing older is that you (once loved by older men) now find yourself loving boys younger than you…” Looking back, I think what I sought to capture in those pictures was the youthful freedom that marked my experience and the experience of many of the strippers that I worked with in the clubs. I wanted to capture that time before life choices hardened into identity, and when sex—and public sex performances—could still be considered play. I wanted to capture the innocence that wasn’t about naiveté or moralistic notions of chastity, but rather the situational suspension of guilt and shame.
Often, people think it’s ridiculous when I talk about innocence with respect to strippers. But that has more to do with our societal hypocrisy about sex than it does with what goes on at the even the most permissive strip club. As Pat (now Patrick) Califia once asked: “Why is sex supposed to be invisible? Other pleasurable acts or acts of communication are routinely performed in public—eating, drinking, talking, watching movies, writing letters, studying or teaching, telling jokes and laughing, appreciating fine art. Is sex so deadly, hateful, and horrific that we can’t permit it to be seen?”
My photographic work, from its inception, has been committed to the idea that sex can be public and should be seen. But more and more, there are obstacles to this idea that don’t simply hinge on hypocrisy and moralism. Increasingly, spaces where gay men could engage in public sex—which runs the continuum from voyeuristically ogling a go-go boy to getting full-on biblical in a back room—are disappearing. Some of this is due to factors that have long impinged upon nightlife: sententious zoning laws; rising rents due to gentrification; homophobic alcohol board practices, etc. But some of this we are doing to ourselves.
There has been article after article about how apps like Grindr are killing gay nightlife because people no longer have to go out to hookup. And this idea has always bothered me because it reduces the raison d’être of nightlife to simply hooking up. But back in the day, in the “Once Upon A Time” of many of my photos, “hooking up” wasn’t the only point of going to a gay club. Rather, it was the gratifying endnote of a sexual public experience, a mise en scène of gay desire that was like nothing else in the known, straight world.
Losing these physical spaces has led to another loss, one that is more metaphysical, that cuts to the core of the modern gay experience. “Gay life is about being open, being unlimited…Why would anyone—bisexual, gay, whatever—want to be trapped as a photo, as an internet profile in an app? That’s a different kind of closet, a box.” This was said to a New York Times reporter by a gay man in Cuba, where spotty internet service has made Grindr slow to catch on.
I think what I mourn most about the death of gay nightlife is the idea of innocence that I talked about with respect to the dancers. It’s because, when nightlife was at its best, this feeling of innocence, of freedom from judgment and expectations could be accessed by almost anyone. The same way that churchgoers have Sunday mornings to congregate and collectively grow closer to God, we—as gay men—had Friday night, and Saturday night, and just about any other night to come together and rejoice in the desire that set so many of us free. Once Upon A Time.
The Craig Report: 5.20.17
Hey everybody. I’m back!
I hope you had a great week. I’m writing this from NYC, as I sit in an Uber racing from LaGuardia airport to JFK. I accidentally went to the wrong airport for my return flight to Miami. I flew into LaGuardia, and when I checked in for my return flight, the American app confusingly displayed this:
Anyway, I thought that writing would help me pass the time in this stressful situation.
I had a great few days in New York, going to see The xx and Sampha in concert, checking out the Comme des Garçons exhibit at the Met, and, of course, eating. I’ll tell you all about that stuff next week.
But I also had a pretty cool time before I left for NYC. As you might remember from my last Report, American Crime Story was recently filming in my neighborhood. Well, Hollywood came back to the beach the very next weekend with the red carpet premiere of Baywatch.
I thought about going because it was open to the public and, well, Zac Efron.
But instead I went to the R&Bae party at Gramps in Wynwood.
It was a chill outdoor event. The people were cool, the margaritas got me nice, and the music bumped. I head-nodded to flashback joints like Ashanti’s “Only U,” Dru Hill’s “In My Bed (So So Def Mix),” and Janet Jackson’s “If (Kaytranada Remix).”
And in more South Beach news, I saw this as I came home from Wynwood.
The next day, I had the opportunity to see a concert by two of my all-time fave singers: Karen Clark-Sheard and daughter Kierra “KiKi” Sheard. Don’t ever let it be said that you can’t get anything good from Groupon.
Karen Clark-Sheard is a member of the legendary Clark Sisters, who Mariah Carey calls her “favorite gospel group.” (The Clark Sisters’ “Unsung” episode, btw, is a pearl-clutching, drama-filled must watch.) Kiki is also counted as “great” by Mimi.
In 2013, Karen sang “Anytime You Need A Friend” as part of a tribute, when Mariah received a B.M.I. Icon Award. Of course, Karen slayed the performance.
Afterward, Mariah tweeted this:
Seeing Karen and Kiki in concert was a spirit-lifting revelation. You can see some of my photos below. And here’s a playlist of 10 of my fave songs by Karen and Kiki, solo and together.
O.K. y’all, I’m at JFK. But this is my Uber bill.
I’m glad I made it to the airport, but this bill got me like…
Anyway, let me run see if I can catch this flight. I’ll let you know what happens and give you some “faves” I’ve been saving up in the next Report. Until then …
Be cool, be kind, be creative, be yourself. Love, Craig
CLOSING THOUGHT
P.S. If you know someone who might like this Report, please do me a favor by forwarding it to them and asking them to subscribe. Thanks!
CRAIG 101
I’m a writer whose work has been featured in The Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Vibe, Spin, and other publications. I have a Ph.D. in American Studies from the University of Maryland at College Park.
My Books:
Providence-based photographer Michael Allen, a gay man on the cusp of 40, thinks he’s found love with a 19-year-old, mohawk-sporting artist named Ziggy, only to discover that the two may already share a bond that neither can imagine. This plays out as Michael’s best friends-Sidney, a 50-ish art dealer and Bruce, a cop in his 30s-deal with their own sexual trysts and romantic travails with dramatically younger guys. The result is a novel that explores the fragile yet enduring ties of sex, love, and friendship.
All I Could Bare: My Life in the Strip Clubs of Gay Washington, D.C.
“Unafraid to bare it all…readers will feel they’re in the hands of an expert.” – Publisher’s Weekly
“…a bare-assed, neon-lit tour de force…” –The Bay Area Reporter
“Raunchy splendor…somehow both bawdy and sweetly nostalgic at the same time.” – Dallas Voice
FREE: Download the All I Could Bare audiobook read by me.
“Full of juicy anecdotes, fast-paced writing and interesting analysis, the book paints an intimate portrait of the beloved balladeer.” – E. Lynn Harris
The Craig Report: 5.12.17
Hey everybody. I’m back!
I want to first wish a Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. None of us would be here without you. Thanks for all you do, especially offering life lessons…
…posing rhetorical questions…
…and stating simple truths:
I hope everybody had a good week. Mine was made a little more interesting because they were filming The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story outside the former Versace mansion in my neighborhood on South Beach. The show, which will be shown on FX in 2018, is being done by Ryan Murphy and his cohorts, who are also behind The People vs. OJ Simpson, American Horror Story, Feud, Glee, and so on and so on…
I didn’t see any of the stars like Edgar Ramirez, who plays Versace, Ricky Martin, who plays Versace’s boyfriend, or Darren Criss, who plays murderer Andrew Cunanan and was spotted on the beach in a Speedo.
I mostly just took pictures of production stuff as I passed by on my daily beach run and my subsequent walk to the office, where I sit writing this.
Some of my shots were jacked, because I was passing by in a rush.
And one day, I was taking a photo of the fake Darren Criss/Andrew Cunanan “Wanted” poster, and a prop supervisor raced over to me and yelled, “Don’t take a picture of that!”
I clapped back: “It’s a public street!” Then I stood there like…
Anyway, here are my fave behind-the-scenes shots:
CRAIG’S WEEKLY FAVES
1) National Mama’s Bailout Day
A group of social justice organizations, including Black Lives Matter, are joining together to bail out mothers who are in jail but have not been convicted of a crime; they simply can’t afford to make bail. The bail-out campaign is inclusive of mothers who–as the following video explains–are “queer, trans immigrant, young, elder, and disabled.”
And because I don’t ask anyone to do something I wouldn’t do myself:
2) Yujia Hu‘s insane sushi creations (s/o @sethclark for the tip)
3) Model Carson Aldridge apes a lot of ’80s leading man tropes in this short video. More important, he does most of it in short-shorts and tighty whities.
O.K. y’all, until next time…
Be cool, be kind, be creative, be yourself.
And Happy Mother’s Day again!!!!
Love, Craig
CLOSING THOUGHTS
#nah
P.S. If you know someone who might like this report, please do me a favor by forwarding it to them and asking them to subscribe. Thanks!
CRAIG 101
I’m a writer whose work has been featured in The Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Vibe, Spin, and other publications. I have a Ph.D. in American Studies from the University of Maryland at College Park.
My Books:
Providence-based photographer Michael Allen, a gay man on the cusp of 40, thinks he’s found love with a 19-year-old, mohawk-sporting artist named Ziggy, only to discover that the two may already share a bond that neither can imagine. This plays out as Michael’s best friends-Sidney, a 50-ish art dealer and Bruce, a cop in his 30s-deal with their own sexual trysts and romantic travails with dramatically younger guys. The result is a novel that explores the fragile yet enduring ties of sex, love, and friendship.
All I Could Bare: My Life in the Strip Clubs of Gay Washington, D.C.
“Unafraid to bare it all…readers will feel they’re in the hands of an expert.” – Publisher’s Weekly
“…a bare-assed, neon-lit tour de force…” –The Bay Area Reporter
“Raunchy splendor…somehow both bawdy and sweetly nostalgic at the same time.” – Dallas Voice
FREE: Download the All I Could Bare audiobook read by me.
“Full of juicy anecdotes, fast-paced writing and interesting analysis, the book paints an intimate portrait of the beloved balladeer.” – E. Lynn Harris
The Craig Report: 5.5.17
Hey everybody. I’m back!
Hope you had a great week!
Mine flew by. I spent most of my time:
I. Reacting to this
I was like
See, I’m not only a fan of Tevin Campbell; I also have to thank him for playing a pivotal role in my career. The first piece I ever wrote for The Washington Post was a review of his self-titled ’99 album. You can read the review here, And below is my Tevin Campbell Top 10 playlist.
Also, this is my fave Tevin remix. It really gives a hard, hip-hop thump to “Can We Talk.”
II. Another thing I’ve been doing this week is obsessively listening to the new Mary J. Blige album, Strength of a Woman. It’s so great to see her come back from her various troubles (the dissolution of her marriage and otherwise) like the warrior that she is.
I like the whole album, but in particular, I’ve been dancing around to “Telling The Truth,”…
…and the summer anthem “Glow Up.”
And I’ve really been feeling her testimony on “Set Me Free” and “Thank You.”
I also couldn’t get enough of her performing “Love Yourself” with The Roots on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.
Lastly, I’ve been deleting from my hard drive every song by Starshell.
The one-time Mary protégé is allegedly “the other woman” behind Mary’s divorce drama.
III. I also did a few artsy things this week. I went into the city to check out some of the street art in Wynwood.
O.K., I actually went there to get some charred octopus tacos from Coyo. But while I was in the neighborhood, I took in some of the murals.
On the way home, I drove through Overtown, which was once called “Colored Town” because of its large black population. Back in the Jim Crow days, acts like Nat King Cole and Billie Holiday stayed in Overtown after their Miami Beach gigs because they weren’t allowed to dine or sleep where they played.
Like many historically black neighborhoods throughout the country, Overtown has seen better days for a variety of reasons. One of these being that the city decided to run interstate 95 straight through Overtown, destroying homes and displacing longtime residents. Now, it’s the so-called “hot zone” of South Florida’s opioid epidemic.
But there are attempts at revitalization, including the reopening of the Lyric Theatre where Sam Cooke, Redd Foxx, and Aretha Franklin, among notable others, once performed. There’s also been the recent installation of outdoor paintings by the Pérez Art Museum.
I went to look at some of these works, which were located around what looked like an abandoned building.
[Ed Clark: Pink Wave, 2006]
[Emilio Sanchez: Untitled (Miami Storefronts), ca. 1980]
[Guillermo Kuitca: Mozart-Da Ponte, VI, 1996]
The next day, I headed to the University of Miami’s Lowe Art Museum to see Dandy Lion: (Re) Articulating Black Masculine Identity. (My mom was in town, so we needed stuff to do.) The exhibit compiled works by an international body of contemporary photographers that documented “the black dandy,” who is defined–as curator Shantrelle P. Lewis states–“as a self-fashioned gentleman who intentionally assimilates classical European fashion with African Diaspora aesthetics and sensibilities…His style and identity generally contradict the stereotypes, boxes, categories, or ideas that society typically apply to him (and in some cases, her).”
I enjoyed the entire exhibit, but I was particularly taken by the work of South African photographer Harness Hamese, who often includes female dandies in his work. Here are three of my favorites from the show:
You can see more of Harness’ work on the ‘gram.
While I was at the museum, I also saw some other stuff that I really liked, including Freedom Trap (2013) by Cuban artist María Magdalena Campos-Pon.
I also saw Christopher, South Shore High School, 2003 from Dawould Bey’s The Chicago Project, which combines Bey’s portraits with the subject’s own words describing themselves. Here’s the photo and an excerpt from Christopher’s profile. (You can read the whole thing here.)
I think I come off as a bad person, ’cause when I get around people I don’t know I kind of ball up into a shell and don’t really voice myself when I should, ’cause I’m so affected by what people think of me that I don’t wanna, like, give them the stereotype of a young person my age. Stereotype would be: don’t know nothin’, probably ain’t goin’ to be nothin’…
But that’s why black young people in America use rap as a voice for us, as people to put out… you know what I’m saying… ‘Cause they have like certain messages. Like, people think all rappers is, “they’re bad, they do bad stuff,” but they’ll tell you in their songs why they do bad stuff, like they had nothin’ else to turn to, so that’s the only way they can do it. But they tell you, like, “man, you shouldn’t do it, because it’s a bad thing and this ain’t goin’ lead to nowhere.” Only reason they had to do it was ’cause it was the last choice they had to use.
CRAIG’S WEEKLY FAVES
1) These lit graduation caps by @artworkbybria
2) Queen Majesty Scotch Bonnet and Ginger Hot Sauce
Remember how I was in Brooklyn a few weeks back? Well, one day I was walking down Knickerbocker Avenue and I went into this gourmet food spot to get some coffee. The line was crazy-long, so I decided to bounce. But before I left, I saw some hot sauce bottles in the corner of my eye. I went over and found Queen Majesty’s Red Habanero and Black Coffee Hot Sauce. The coffee/hot sauce combo sounded tasty af. But I knew that I couldn’t get the bottle through airport security. Plus, I wasn’t tryna stand in that line.
I got on my phone, went to the Queen Majesty website, and immediately ordered the three hot sauce sampler pack.
I figured that I would love the “Red Habanero and Black Coffee” and the “Jalapeño, Tequila and Lime,” and that I would tolerate the “Scotch Bonner and Ginger.” I just haven’t been a big ginger person since I was about six year’s old and my mom made homemade egg rolls for my birthday. She put ginger in the rolls, but it wasn’t cooked. And I bit into a huge chunk of raw ginger.
Anyway, I’ve been sorta anti-ginger ever since. I don’t even eat it when it comes with my sushi. But when the sauces arrived, I was shocked to discover that the Scotch Bonnet and Ginger was actually my favorite. It has a a really zesty, energizing kick to it. I highly recommend.
In fact, I have to go re-order before I run out. Until next time y’all…
Be cool, be kind, be creative, be yourself. Love, Craig
CLOSING THOUGHTS
I just hung this print from Freestyle Raps in my apartment. It’s a lyric from J. Cole’s “Love Yourz.”
I don’t know how many of you caught J. Cole’s HBO documentary 4 Your Eyez Only, but it was really interesting. It followed Cole, who hails from Fayetteville, NC, traveling through the South, chopping it up with everyday folk. I guarantee that this 4 minute clip of him talking to a grandmother will be one of the most moving things you’ve seen all year.
P.S. If you know someone who might like this report, please do me a favor by forwarding it to them and asking them to subscribe. Thanks!
CRAIG 101
I’m a writer/photographer whose work has been featured in The Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Vibe, Spin, and other publications. I have a Ph.D. in American Studies from the University of Maryland at College Park.
My Books:
Providence-based photographer Michael Allen, a gay man on the cusp of 40, thinks he’s found love with a 19-year-old, mohawk-sporting artist named Ziggy, only to discover that the two may already share a bond that neither can imagine. This plays out as Michael’s best friends-Sidney, a 50-ish art dealer and Bruce, a cop in his 30s-deal with their own sexual trysts and romantic travails with dramatically younger guys. The result is a novel that explores the fragile yet enduring ties of sex, love, and friendship.
All I Could Bare: My Life in the Strip Clubs of Gay Washington, D.C.
“Unafraid to bare it all…readers will feel they’re in the hands of an expert.” – Publisher’s Weekly
“…a bare-assed, neon-lit tour de force…” –The Bay Area Reporter
“Raunchy splendor…somehow both bawdy and sweetly nostalgic at the same time.” – Dallas Voice
FREE: Download the All I Could Bare audiobook read by me.
“Full of juicy anecdotes, fast-paced writing and interesting analysis, the book paints an intimate portrait of the beloved balladeer.” – E. Lynn Harris
The Craig Report 4.28.17
Hey y’all, I’m back!
Hope you had a great week! As you might suspect from my last Report, I’ve spent much of the week recovering from my travels, doing laundry (i.e. dropping off clothes at Wash Club), cleaning the apartment (i.e. booking a Handy), and offering unsolicited advice to Mary J. Blige’s A&R man.
Check out Kaytranada’s remix of the Mary J. classic, “I Can Love You:”
In addition to doing those things, I’m still working on a bunch of projects that I hope to share with you in the next few months.
Other than that, the week was pretty uneventful. But here are a few ICYMIs:
1. I’m still getting good feedback about my “Produced By Missy Elliott” playlist. And, of course, there was THIS
Oh, and THIS
You can check out my Missy-approved selections on Tidal & Spotify.
2. Tuesday, April 25th marked the 15th anniversary of the tragic death of TLC’s Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes. I posted a tribute that I wrote about her at the time. It was based on a Honey magazine cover story that I had written the year before.
3. I got another FIVE STAR review of my novel, Who’s Your Daddy?
Special shoutout to whoever wrote this! If you liked the book, please do me a favor and write a quick review. It really helps.
CRAIG’S WEEKLY FAVES
1) Kendrick Lamar’s Mother
I love Kendrick Lamar’s searingly introspective new album DAMN. But not as much as his momma. Here’s her emoji-laden take on her son’s masterpiece.
IMHO, this is the best bit of homegrown music criticism since @deactivatedfatgirl’s epic review of Beyoncé’s self-titled 2013 opus. Lest we ever forget, I’ll recap:
It’s early morning on December 13th, right after Bey surprise-released her much anticipated album and in her own words…
Well, in those wee hours, Mrs. Carter also posted this on IG:
@deactivatedfatgirl had the only appropriate response:
(Btw, you should also check out Greg Tate’s incisive rumination on Kendrick’s album. Tate compellingly argues that “the truths spoken by hiphop’s prophets are…democratically applicable to all living under the reign of Mein Trumpf.”)
2. Billie Holiday at Sugar Hill – Jerry Dantzic
Remember a few weeks back, around the time of Billie Holiday’s birthday, I told you guys how much I liked Zadie Smith’s short story that is written from Billie’s perspective. Well, the story, which first appeared in The New Yorker, was actually written for the new book Billie Holiday at Sugar Hill. The book compiles many of the pictures taken by photographer Jerry Dantzic when he was hired by Billie’s record company to chronicle her April 1957 stint at the Sugar Hill club in Newark, NJ. She was performing there because, due to a drug conviction, she was banned from performing in NYC clubs.
The pictures capture a thin but healthy-and-happy-looking Billie, who had just gotten married. Sadly, within two years, she was dead.
Here are some of my favorite pictures from the book. Predictably, if you know anything about my photography, I like a lot of the blurry, soft-focus ones. Anyway, I highly recommend the book for you or the Billie lover in your life.
Sidenote: I love this last photo because it reminds me of one of the most visually stunning films that I’ve ever seen.
ICYMI, here’s my Top 10 Billie Holiday playlist.
3) Piano Tribute to Frank Ocean – Blond Piano
From the WTF files comes this all-piano version of Frank Ocean’s Blonde. The mysterious pianist manages to capture the intimacy and eloquent beauty of Frank’s songs, and the stripped-down quality gives the album a deeply meditative feel. Play amidst repeated streams of “Chanel,” “Slide,” “Biking,” and “Lens.”
O.K. y’all, as always, it’s been fun! But I gotta run to Target because
and
Until next time…
Be cool, be kind, be creative, be yourself. Love, Craig
CLOSING THOUGHT
P.S. If you know someone who might like this Report, please do me a favor by forwarding it to them and asking them to subscribe. Thanks!
CRAIG 101
I’m a writer/photographer whose work has been featured in The Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Vibe, Spin, and other publications. I have a Ph.D. in American Studies from the University of Maryland at College Park.
My Books:
Providence-based photographer Michael Allen, a gay man on the cusp of 40, thinks he’s found love with a 19-year-old, mohawk-sporting artist named Ziggy, only to discover that the two may already share a bond that neither can imagine. This plays out as Michael’s best friends-Sidney, a 50-ish art dealer and Bruce, a cop in his 30s-deal with their own sexual trysts and romantic travails with dramatically younger guys. The result is a novel that explores the fragile yet enduring ties of sex, love, and friendship.
All I Could Bare: My Life in the Strip Clubs of Gay Washington, D.C.
“Unafraid to bare it all…readers will feel they’re in the hands of an expert.” – Publisher’s Weekly
“…a bare-assed, neon-lit tour de force…” –The Bay Area Reporter
“Raunchy splendor…somehow both bawdy and sweetly nostalgic at the same time.” – Dallas Voice
FREE: Download the All I Could Bare audiobook read by me.
“Full of juicy anecdotes, fast-paced writing and interesting analysis, the book paints an intimate portrait of the beloved balladeer.” – E. Lynn Harris
The Craig Report 4.23.17
Hey everybody. I’m back!
I’m coming to you once again from an Ethiopian restaurant. (Blog-only readers should note that the referenced last dispatch was for exclusive for email subscribers. Subscribe, yo! There are benefits and such.) Anyway, like I said, I’m waiting to tear into an Ethiopian feast again, only this time I’m coming to you, not from my hometown of D.C., but from BK, home of Biggie and Jay/Where niggas got Will Smith chips/Get jiggy all day/Bitches that boost in the city all day…

























The food was great too. I had vegan chicken and waffles, which is interesting considering that the last time I ate actual chicken was at the legendary Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles in LA right after Biggie died. I had just come from taking pictures at the Peterson Automotive Museum, where he was gunned down.
It’s funny how food can trigger memories.

Be cool, be kind, be creative, be yourself. Love, Craig
P.S. If you know someone who might like this report, please do me a favor and ask them to subscribe. Thanks!
CLOSING THOUGHT



CRAIG 101
I’m a writer whose work has been featured in The Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Vibe, Spin, and other publications. I have a Ph.D. in American Studies from the University of Maryland at College Park.
My Books:
Providence-based photographer Michael Allen, a gay man on the cusp of 40, thinks he’s found love with a 19-year-old, mohawk-sporting artist named Ziggy, only to discover that the two may already share a bond that neither can imagine. This plays out as Michael’s best friends-Sidney, a 50-ish art dealer and Bruce, a cop in his 30s-deal with their own sexual trysts and romantic travails with dramatically younger guys. The result is a novel that explores the fragile yet enduring ties of sex, love, and friendship.
All I Could Bare: My Life in the Strip Clubs of Gay Washington, D.C.
“Unafraid to bare it all…readers will feel they’re in the hands of an expert.” – Publisher’s Weekly
“…a bare-assed, neon-lit tour de force…” –The Bay Area Reporter
“Raunchy splendor…somehow both bawdy and sweetly nostalgic at the same time.” – Dallas Voice
“Full of juicy anecdotes, fast-paced writing and interesting analysis, the book paints an intimate portrait of the beloved balladeer.” – E. Lynn Harris
The Craig Report 4.7.17
Hey, everybody. I’m back!
First off, I want to thank you all for supporting my new book, Who’s Your Daddy?
I’m up to nearly 600 views on Wattpad, where you can read the whole thing for free.
I have two reviews on Amazon. (Shoutout to the reviewers!)
And I even picked up two reviews on Goodreads.
Anyway, I really appreciate all the reads and reviews.
I hope everybody had a good week. Mine has been all about
But, hopefully, this means that I’ll have cool stuff to share with you in the upcoming weeks, months, and–if things go according to plan–years.
CRAIG’S WEEKLY FAVES
1) Desus & Mero
My new favorite show is Viceland’s late night talk fest Desus & Mero, which plays like a moderately woke, consistently hysterical barbershop convo. It’s exactly what I need after back-to-back hours of Chris Hayes and Rachel Maddow. Comedians Desus Nice and The Kid Mero weigh in on topics ranging from politics to pop culture. (You can watch the show on Viceland or YouTube.)
Here are some of my fave recent clips:
Desus and Mero always show respect to Congressional legend and leader-of-the-rebellion Maxine Waters for the way that she’s committed to exposing all of “Trumpito’s” Russian secrets. But they also think that, at the family reunion, she would be the nosey aunt who’s in everybody’s business.
Here they expound on Tiger Woods’ rapidly receding hairline.
This is Desus and Mero on the poop-throwing internet chimp.
And here they are on that butter-covered baby.
In addition to one-on-one commentary, they also have candid celebrity interviews. Here they are with Faith Evans.
2) Arinze Stanley
I’m blown away by the crazy-real pencil drawings of self-trained Nigerian artist Arinze Stanley.
This is Stanley describing his creative process: “Sometimes it’s almost like I’m not in control of my pencil, sort of like energy transfer. Most times I feel like I transfer my energy into a blank piece of paper through my pencils and it just becomes art.”
3) Zayn & PartyNextDoor – “Still Got Time (House Party House Remix)”
I know that this week most Directioners are obsessed with “Sign of the Times” by Flying Harry Styles.
But I’m also feeling the House Party remix of Zayn’s latest. It gives the original version some extra thump, and you can cop the dl for free here.
4) Gay porn pencil cases (and coffee mugs)
So, recently I needed to buy a pencil case, not for pencils mind you, but rather to carry my assorted hot sauces and other essential condiments to and from my co-working space. It’s actually something that I feel a little tight about tbh. When I first was looking at the spot, they lured a brotha in with free access Sriracha and a mad array of spices and such. Cut to a year and a half later. I’m running in with a tuna salad and I can’t even find any salt and pepper on the 4th floor where I mostly work. I go to the 2nd floor and ask the receptionist if there is any salt and pepper. Homegirl tells me that they’re out of salt, and then she points me to a big-ass, Costco-sized bottle of Black Peppercorns. There is no grinder in sight. Dafuq are me and my tuna salad supposed to do with un-ground black peppercorns. I stormed off like
Anyway, as I was eating my no-spice-havin’ ass tuna salad, I vowed that I would never be caught without the bare condiment essentials again. This led me to Etsy to try to find something that would be functional but also kinda lit.
I came across Father Panik’s pencil case adorned with newspaper ads for 70s gay porn flicks. Of course, I snapped it right up along with the matching mug.
And I would’ve totally gotten this if it had been on a t-shirt. (Father, do you hear me?)
5) Janmojis
I guess it’s now pretty much established that I spend many nights cruising D.I.Y. e-commerce sites. Redbubble is another frequent stop, and it’s where I discovered this line of emojis based on the newly single Janet Jackson. I think they’re so cute (and I’m particularly partial to ’86, ’89, and the two ’97s). You can get them on t-shirts, as stickers, etc… Check them all out here.
THE WEEK AHEAD
April 10: Babyface’s birthday
Sometimes I look back on my work as a music critic, and I’m like, “Damn, I can’t believe you roasted that person like that!” Well, in Babyface’s case, I did it twice. I must have been in a mood on those days. In any event, here are two of my meanest reviews and they both happen to be of Babyface albums:
O.K. y’all, until next time…
Be cool, be kind, be creative, be yourself. Love, Craig
CLOSING THOUGHTS
This quote from Glennon Doyle Melton goes out to all those who are going through things:
CRAIG 101
I’m a writer whose work has been featured in The Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Vibe, Spin, and other publications. I have a Ph.D. in American Studies from the University of Maryland at College Park.
My Books:
Providence-based photographer Michael Allen, a gay man on the cusp of 40, thinks he’s found love with a 19-year-old, mohawk-sporting artist named Ziggy, only to discover that the two may already share a bond that neither can imagine. This plays out as Michael’s best friends-Sidney, a 50-ish art dealer and Bruce, a cop in his 30s-deal with their own sexual trysts and romantic travails with dramatically younger guys. The result is a novel that explores the fragile yet enduring ties of sex, love, and friendship.
All I Could Bare: My Life in the Strip Clubs of Gay Washington, D.C.
“Unafraid to bare it all…readers will feel they’re in the hands of an expert.” – Publisher’s Weekly
“…a bare-assed, neon-lit tour de force…” –The Bay Area Reporter
“Raunchy splendor…somehow both bawdy and sweetly nostalgic at the same time.” – Dallas Voice
“Full of juicy anecdotes, fast-paced writing and interesting analysis, the book paints an intimate portrait of the beloved balladeer.” – E. Lynn Harris
The Craig Report 4.1.17
Hey, everybody. Surprise, I’m back!
First, I want to thank everyone who bought my new novel or checked it out for free on Wattpad.
I’m now up to more than 550 Wattpad views, which totally makes me feel like
So, if you liked the book, please do me a favor and give me some stars on Wattpad. Or, by all means, please spread the word and share it. I’d really appreciate it.
You can also write an Amazon review. I’m particularly fond of the type of review, like this one of my Luther Vandross bio, that really steps out on faith.
Also, thanks to everyone who checked out my new R&B website.
I hope everybody’s been good since the last letter. I’ve spent much of the time recovering from Miami Music Week, during which I went to two pretty dope parties.
The first was thrown by Def Mix, the dj/production collective that, in its heyday, included David Morales, Satoshi Tomiie, and the late–and quite legendary–Frankie Knuckles. The three of them–individually and together–were responsible for some of my fave mixes of the ’90s, including:
Janet Jackson – “Got ‘Til It’s Gone (Def The Bass Mix)”
Mariah Carey – “Always Be My Baby (Satoshi Tomiie’s Groove-A-Pella)”
Janet Jackson – “Because of Love (Frankie & David Classic Mix)
Mariah Carey – “Butterfly Def B Fly Mix)”
Michael Jackson – “You Are Not Alone (Franctified Club Mix)”
The Def Mix party started really strong. One of the early djs played an unreleased mix of Mimi’s “Make It Happen,” which totally got the crowd hype. (My video from the club.)
Then, special guest DJ Spen jumped on the one-and-twos. I love Dj Spen, who has remixed joints by Ashanti, Angie Stone, and *must listen alert* Mary J. Blige.
I know Spen’s music from back in the day because I’m a D.C. native, and Spen hails from nearby Baltimore, where the club music is always grounded in soul. On this particular night, Spen played Stevie Wonder’s “As,” a lush house re-make of the The O’Jays’ classic ballad “Stairway to Heaven,” and–in what was a wonderful surprise–“Time Waits For No One” by one of my favorite vocalists, Jean Carn.
I grew up on Ms. Carn’s music. Throughout the ’70s, she made dem good ol’ Auntie records, songs that schooled me to grown folks’ ways of love. She sings in a somewhat stylized, reflective manner. This is no doubt influenced by her deep background in jazz, which is expressed most fully in her many collaborations with multi-intrumentalist ex-husband Doug Carn. (My fave Carn x Carn collabo.) To me, it always sounds like Carn is trying to teach the listener something, a lesson based in her own rich life experience.
You might know her from, well, my “About” page, or hits like “Don’t Let It Go To Your Head,” an anthem about making sure your boo doesn’t get gassed, and “Was That Was It Was,” a cautionary tale about one night stands that was featured in Precious.
“Time Waits For No One” is one of those songs that make me see a whole movie musical in my head. Imagine you’re at a barbecue in the backyard of Grandma’s house. The whole family knows Auntie Jean’s new man ain’t shit. He has another woman and kids. But she keeps saying that it ain’t even like that. He’s committed to her now, and she plans to prove it by having him come to the barbecue.
But hours pass by, and homeboy hasn’t shown his face. Everybody has eaten and is making plates to take home. You go looking for Auntie to say goodbye and find her sitting by herself on the plastic-covered couch in the living room. She’s staring out of the window into the dark. You ask, “what’s the matter, Auntie?” A four-on-the-four beat starts playing. She turns to you and begins to sing, “I been out here so very long…”
Anyway, all of this is to say that I had a great time at the Def Mix party, and I danced my ass off. As I get older and have less stamina, my dance moves can sometimes go like this
But that night, I was full of energy.
In fact, this was my Apple Heath reading just from being on the dancefloor.
The next party I went to was at Do Not Sit on the Furniture. It was a mixed lineup, but I was there to see Detroit Techno legend Kevin Saunderson, who, among other things, is the behind-the-boards magic maker responsible for the Inner City classics “Good Life” and “Big Fun.” He also did *must listen alert #2* one of my all-time favorite remixes, the “Club Dub” of Karyn White’s “The Way I Feel About You.”
He fully deconstructs the rather generic pop tune and rebuilds it into a pulsing, soulful club epic.
I didn’t amass quite as many steps that night, but it was still a good time.
CRAIG’S WEEKLY FAVES
1) CHRIS HAYES – A COLONY IN A NATION
I’ve been a Chris Hayes stan from way back. His weekend show Up with Chris Hayes was the newsy accompaniment to many hangovers, and his evening show All In with Chris Hayes kicks off my primetime lineup every weeknight.
His new book, A Colony in a Nation, takes on race in the U.S. in a way that exposes the hypocrisy that’s at the heart of our democracy. Chris, for instance, draws parallels between Eric Garner, the black Staten Island grandfather who was choked to death by the NYPD after being caught selling loosies, with founding father John Hancock, who made a fortune illegally selling Dutch tea, which was cheaper than the East India tea that was officially sanctioned by the dominating Brits. Both Garner and Hancock sold legal commodities in illegal ways. But Garner died on the street, while Hancock went on to show-out and do-the-most with his signature on the Declaration of Independence.
Through connections like this, Chris forces us to interrogate our knee-jerk notions about who gets designated as a “criminal” in our society and who gets to commit crimes (from the pettiest to the most heinous) without being branded with that stigmatized identity. Chris points out how white kids at elite universities get away with all sorts of illegal activities (public drunkenness, drug possession, sexual assault, et al.) that would most likely negatively and irreparably change the course of a young person of color’s life.
Chris’ book serves as a nice companion to Ava DuVernay’s eye-opening documentary 13th in that it provides more examples and analysis of how the white powers-that-be use the idea of crime as a way to control black and brown bodies. Or as Chris puts it: “American history is the story of white fear…”
2) THE BRILLIANT VISON OF GEORGE PITTS
George Pitts, who passed on March 4, was the Director of Photography for VIBE magazine from its first issue in 1993 to 2004. George’s job was to help choose the photographers and select the images that would represent hip-hop and R&B in the most iconic and truthful ways. It was not a job he undertook lightly. As he once wrote: “We take our responsibility seriously because we are recording the defining moments in a cultural adolescence, a never-to-be repeated chapter taken from the big book of humanity.”
Here’s a selection of some of George’s favorite VIBE covers. (I’m proud to say that I wrote two of the stories that went with them.)
And below are some images from the book he helped compile, VX: 10 Years of Vibe Photography. Now I’m not qualified to give out stock tips. But I can say that you should snatch up a copy of this now out-of-print book while it’s still reasonably priced, because one day it will be a valuable collector’s item documenting a glorious black past.
(Chaka Khan by Alastair Thain)
(Destiny’s Child by Vincent Skeltis)
(Madonna by Melodie McDaniel)
(RuPaul by Ellen von Unwerth; Vanessa Williams by Ruvan Afandor)
(Jodeci by Albert Watson)
(Toni Braxton by Tony Duran; Mary J. Blige by Christian Witkin)
(Justin Timberlake by Phil Knott)
(Beyoncé by Kayt Jones; India.Arie by Gerald Foster)
(Britney Spears by Brian Walsh)
(Mariah Carey by Wayne Maser)
(Aaliyah by Robert Maxwell)
3) “MEME-GIRLS”
A hilarious meme re-telling of the iconic “It’s All Over” scene from Dreamgirls by @blccbrry: (Part 1, Part 2). Highlights include:
4) RIHANNA – AMORPHOUS MASHUPS
Mashups used to be a big thing in the early aughts. DJs and producers would take two disparate tracks–like, say, Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” and Kraftwerk’s “Numbers”–and merge them together. Sometimes the results were fun; often they sucked.
Orlando-based producer Amorphous is trying to bring the mashup back by reinterpreting cuts by Rihanna, and I really love what he’s done. Here are some of my favorites from his Rihanna mashup album.
“This Is What You Came For” x Nelly Furtado’s “Say It Right”
“Where Have You Been” x Destiny’s Child’s “Say My Name”
“Desperado” x Banks’ “Waiting Game”
“Te Amo” x SWV’s “You’re The One”
(Sidenote: I don’t really even like “Te Amo,” but I love this mix)
One of the revelations of the of this mashup collection is how well Rihanna’s vocals pair with Aaliyah’s music and vice versa.
“Needed Me” x Aaliyah’s “One in a Million”
“Russian Roulette” x Aaliyah’s “Try Again”
Aaliyah’s “Rock the Boat” x “Work”
THE WEEK AHEAD
April 1: Gil Scott-Heron’s birthday
Check the prophetic lyrics:
Well, the first thing I want to say is: Mandate my ass!
Because it seems as though we’ve been convinced that 26% of the registered voters, not even 26% of the American people, but 26% of the registered voters form a mandate or a landslide…
In this year that we have now declared the year from Shogun to Reagan, I remember what I said about Reagan, I meant it. Acted like an actor. Hollyweird. Acted like a liberal…Then he acted like a Republican. Then he acted like somebody was going to vote for him for President. And now we act like 26% of the registered voters is actually a mandate. We’re all actors in this I suppose…
The idea concerns the fact that this country wants nostalgia. They want to go back as far as they can – even if it’s only as far as last week. Not to face now or tomorrow, but to face backwards. And yesterday was the day of our cinema heroes riding to the rescue at the last possible moment. The day of the man in the white hat or the man on the white horse – or the man who always came to save America at the last moment – someone always came to save America at the last moment – especially in “B” movies. And when America found itself having a hard time facing the future, they looked for people like John Wayne. But since John Wayne was no longer available, they settled for Ronald Reagan and it has placed us in a situation that we can only look at like a “B” movie.
From Liberal to libelous, from “Bonzo” to Birch Idol, Born Again. Civil Rights, Women’s Rights, Gay Rights: it’s all wrong. Call in the cavalry to disrupt this perception of freedom gone wild. God damn it, first one wants freedom, then the whole damn world wants freedom.
Nostalgia, that’s what we want : the good ol’ days, when we gave’em hell. When the buck stopped somewhere and you could still buy something with it. To a time when movies were in black and white, and so was everything else…
April 2: Marvin Gaye’s birthday
April 4: Maya Angelou’s birthday
This is the poem Ms. Angelou delivered at President Clinton’s inauguration set to a sick house beat. (I got it on a mixtape; I don’t even know who did it.)
I think this tribute mix is particularly appropriate, because let’s never forget that the celebrated poet was also a trained dancer.
April 6: Strike A Pose on LOGO (9PM, EST)
Madonna’s tour documentary Truth or Dare expanded the parameters of queer representation in pop culture. But Strike a Pose shows that the gay foot soldiers in Madonna’s revolution often paid a heavy price.
April 7: Billie Holiday’s birthday
Four ways to celebrate:
i) Watch this legendary live performance with her road dog Lester Young
ii) Listen to my 10 favorite Billie Holiday songs on Spotify
iii) Read Zadie Smith’s exquisite short story, “Crazy They Call Me,” which is written from Billie’s perspective.
(Matter of fact, while you’re reading, listen to Queen Dinah Washington’s Billie-tribute performance of “Crazy He Calls Me.”)
iv) Read the excellent biography, With Billie: A New Look at the Unforgettable Lady Day. Toni Morrison wrote of the book: “Nowhere else is the context of her life so vividly captured.”
O.K. y’all, until next time…
Be cool, be kind, be creative, be yourself. Love, Craig
CLOSING THOUGHTS
“If a bitch don’t let you through, you got to bust through on your own.” – Ts Madison
P.S. If you know someone who might like this report, please do me a favor by forwarding it to them and asking them to subscribe. Thanks!
CRAIG 101
I’m a writer whose work has been featured in The Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune, Entertainment Weekly, Vibe, Spin, and other publications. I have a Ph.D. in American Studies from the University of Maryland at College Park.
My Books:
Providence-based photographer Michael Allen, a gay man on the cusp of 40, thinks he’s found love with a 19-year-old, mohawk-sporting artist named Ziggy, only to discover that the two may already share a bond that neither can imagine. This plays out as Michael’s best friends-Sidney, a 50-ish art dealer and Bruce, a cop in his 30s-deal with their own sexual trysts and romantic travails with dramatically younger guys. The result is a novel that explores the fragile yet enduring ties of sex, love, and friendship.
All I Could Bare: My Life in the Strip Clubs of Gay Washington, D.C.
“Unafraid to bare it all…readers will feel they’re in the hands of an expert.” – Publisher’s Weekly
“…a bare-assed, neon-lit tour de force…” –The Bay Area Reporter
“Raunchy splendor…somehow both bawdy and sweetly nostalgic at the same time.” – Dallas Voice
“Full of juicy anecdotes, fast-paced writing and interesting analysis, the book paints an intimate portrait of the beloved balladeer.” – E. Lynn Harris